My Night

I watch you, so euphoric
the high is coming down, down

down
down...

why so much violation. why
such a cum dumpster. Oh to
the sun and the stars, so
much inate pain and anguish
so much tantric taint.

so dark and so late...
i'm so sorry.


agony, anguish anguish
shelved beds with cut
bodies
scratchy, sleep filled eyes
sore fingers,
typing, clicking away.
ugly, demoted men staring
staring at my unfortunate
situation, murder.

I write despondent, unable
to solve. unable to resolve
meet the requirements
beat the system
throw egg on their face.
prove them wrong.

explain my side of the story.

when will my spacing be
back to normal, and when will
my alarm clock stop singing out
so early
in the morning.

when will the bridge be lowered
for me to cross.
when can I jump from the bridge.
will they give me a crutch
to hold me up?
will they call me Tommy and tell me
to come down... will they tell me
I'm scaring everyone?

knocked down in the rain and beaten
so desperate and desolate and depressed

so dark are these words... filled with
remorse and sadness. where are the happy words?

where are the little kittens licking my face
in the morning?

it's 2:49 AM. when can I sleep?