General

What should I do.

It's been forever since I did.
It's been ages and ages...
what have I done in the last forever?

How far have I come with the love of my life?
How far will I go?
it will last forever. And forever is a long time.

My mind has been drained of any thoughts
or feelings other than anxiety and nervousness
I've been wrought with worry. I'm twisted iron
knee.

I can't feel my fingers and my fingers can't feel the keys.
I want some wind and want some smells. Want the flashing to stop.
I want to decrease the volume I want to spend some time in silence.
There're times when I want to be part of the group.

Should I get a band and offer it? should it be casual. It will be.

should there be a beat
and a drum in the silence...
when will the questions stop?
when will worry subside?
will it really be ok?

...

I've lost a quality that I enjoyed.
there used to be some fantastic civilization beyond a thin grey film
in my mind. I used to have access to some mental capacity to
pride myself in.

Or is that wrong?

I've not been tempted by lust for anyone.
there's been no fluttering in my stomach for another.
my heart is so content, yet worried at a loss.
it cries every day and sometimes I give up in my mind.

I love you too

Sometimes i feel like putting myself down
I'm worthless as a penny... but there are times
when I'm useful.

There are days when I jump in a bed of nails
only to get back up and just feel worse.
I feel so miserable but benevolent at times.
I love giving and I love having someone to give to.

I wouldn't give any of it up for the world and the world knows it.

No words in so long... time has flown by... a year,
a year and a half coming soon...
leaving for a life. My
hope is so big that
my love will
return to
me.