Amperage

SPACE CADET:

To think outside the box. It's an utter cliche.

Sometimes I need something so loud that it drowns out all thought; Something that pierces the deepest parts of my brain with sound, rhythm, and meaning. I don't care how things are meant to be written. I don't care about rules and the way things are "supposed" to be. All I care about is something getting put on paper (Or a digital canvas).

Sometimes I get so lost thinking. It's such a pleasure to come down from all those worries and drown myself - to flush out the bad with something I love so much.

Some people resort to drugs. And once they do they've ruined something in themselves. Before they take that first puff of weed or that first shot of heroin there's something in them that is so right; something that God put there for a reason.

I've got to sing along and raise my voice. I've got to thrash around and hurt myself. I've got to blindly run forward until darkness clotheslines me. I've got to take my eyes out and see things the way they're supposed to be seen - so dim and blurred. So misshapen and unfocused. I've got to read between the lines, my nose pressed hard against the screen. I've got to embrace someone I love and ask if they can help me. I need their help.

Slumped under the weight, I begin to breathe hard and my mind races. I turn for comfort. I rest my eyes on beauty.

I feel taxed and smothered. I feel the lights begin to go out. I cry ceaselessly. Please God!