A Pension Waiting

A Pension Waiting

Begin 12:00

there's a burning sensation
on my face - a little to the
side of "her glory" and "his wit".
charm seems to be the last thing on
anyones mind.
cigar ash coats lungs
coats for cold and misery
I saw these eyebrows that I liked
so I brushed them - gorgeous
oddly absurd - I can't feel toes.
Knights in loincloths save the day
when all the other heroes go home
defeated and depressed
there's a mind thing -
I watch the screen waiting-
reactors overheat and she melts
and overflows - men cry out as she
floods over them and they become
part of her.
ageless and sedated -a bouffant
of cerebral delight smothered in
condensed passion.
my whole mind ruptures and
the ink spills out onto someone's life.
good night sunshine. good night
the one I feel closest to in all the world.
half of my heart and all of yours all
in one.
when walls break
and ghosts rush in - doors
ringing open and shrill cries
welling. I feel like leaving and
never coming back -
some sort of chaos in the thoughts

blazed-
He was so blazed when I saw
him I was sure his memory
would not hold the moment when
I said goodbye. A best friend;
another sailor of time.
he left without actually saying bye.
oh well.

stupidity
we all render
little blenders-
thoughtful cabbages
useless drivel that I love
i put my hand in the fire.
ouch!
it's dead
gone away
taken by it
will you kiss it better?

main Line.
although the poultice worked
quick the infection came back-
returned- and she was rendered
dead. Sunday was her best
day and sunday was her last
day
a dream came form a man
in a red suit. he must've
been gay 'cause he asked me
out. I turned him down and
nearly kicked him. killed him.
offense
defense.
the clock had a button
the stuck-the snooze
i was late for that excuse
the shoes have tied laces
i filched a smile from her face.

despite the cold the
little girl survived and grew
up - she was indescribable.

the wall stayed stained
for years and the blood
never came off - it stuck
like glue.

i paced around
called bluefrog
old ointment
cereal dredges
hopeful combatants
untimely demises
wizardry kind of shit
that stuck to my fork.
when I cried ti
slipped off and called
me an "annoying bitch"

i feel simple and I don't mind.
i feel stupid and contagious
and I don't mind.

walk outside picnic in the woods
butter,
seamless entrancement-ness
vulgar lines - gas lines.
a jerk of the chain
and no time to lose
or I'll get tired and
curl up and die

fingernails are leaving again
can't stop eating them
can't stop thinking
engrossed
gross.
i'm left out.
sack of marbles
brain dead
atrophied
my planet is pluto-
it isn't.

how will we live?

i was born of nothing
something conspired to make me whole.
the time moved
acid shack
don't
speak in english and lay
here.
hear....
the water rushing
my lips moving
breath...
in.
out.
about.
hair bristling against all of sanity.
not smart.
a dying dog that is still
cute, but she's so sad...
so sad.
no one wants you to go...
but you have to
shaking - I'm shaking.
adjust glasses
shaking
feet cold
eyes red - desperate
golden ticket
time...

a branch -
he once hung his clothes on
the tree when he'd wade into
the river
now he himself hangs from
the heavy limb that once
supported his wears.
no one knew him but
he didn't care
his thoughts were
all he needed
so he stayed shut
up and quiet
people moaned - they
cried, they shook and cooked..
there was a feast in his
name; a name no one knew
was Tyler, or Gregory,
or Richard.
or David.
much value placed in
things with little value.
heart and soul -
devotion and bitterness.
an abscess to humanity.

(break 12:30 to 12:40)

echoes
I hear her tear drops
falling in shade
i remember sweltering
summers where I knew
no one - the heat was my
only friend
so much contrast -
a friend to look forward to
things with. I become
obsessive, possessive, impulsive,
uncomfortable.
walking home the last day
of school.
sadness drifts back
and forth
is it possible that i
miss it?
something to have in
common with everyone
my hand aches-
but there's a voice in my ear.
speak not.
let the sunshine
down
and warm us together
it's better to have a
soul to compare your
own to - if only
to make sure you are human.

i eek and scuttle
pound and prod and
scythe the mind for
ideas taht don't exist
like a farm scythes a
dusty, barren field.
depressed but it doesn't matter.
god is there somewhere.

-If you're still there I'm going to say goodnight.
-I'm here.
-Mkay then. Good night!
-Alright. Goodnight!

End 12:50