Drills Bits

Alright, so I was sitting her in my room when all of a sudden, a guy in blue spandex body suit busts down my door and says, "GOD ALMIGHTY, SON, YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN THE MEANING OF 'CLEANROOM.'" I get confused for a minute while he's standing there pointing at all the random pollution laying around the room. A guitar, a busted up computer, a bookcase with books littered on the ground in front of it. I couldn't believe my eyes when I noticed the big diamond shaped badget on his chest that had SMP printed in it. "What the hell does that mean?" I tried to be polite but I guess I forgot myself. He pimp slapped me and I screamed, and he said, "it stands for 'Smoke More Pot,' sonny jim." I laughed and he grabbed me and ran out of my room and up the stairs. Upon reaching the front door, he shouldered his way through the door way (knocking my mother, who was holding a spraying garden hose and blankly staring at a brick wall, out of the way). "To infinity, and beyond!" the man yelled, and we bolted toward the moon. We leveled off at about 60,000 feet and my lungs were burning from lack of oxygen, and my face was almost flash frozen in the cool, near space atmosphere.

We floated around for a while and then he broke the news. "This is not why I'm here," he said. "I'm here to grant you three wishes." I croaked like a frog and cawed like a crow in exitement. "Well? what is your first wish, then, little guy?" I tried to think, bringing forth the great life I had down on earth, with friends to talk to, and plenty of material possessions. I tried hard to think of something that I desperately wanted, but I couldn't call anything forth. Finally, I opened my mouth and declared, "I have everything I want, already." Without hesitation, the man wound up and threw me back to Earth. "Well then, you ungrateful little cosmonaught... get the HELL out of here!" I flew toward earth at great speed, my stomach climing up my throat into my mouth. "I wonder what hitting the ground will feel like after falling all this distance," I said to myself, but the words were all caught in the wind screaming past me as I plummeted.